It's happened

The phone call that I had anticipated with both hope and dread came on Tuesday- a bed was available for Ron at Cerwydden care centre. So Thursday saw Cammy, Keighley, Glyn and myself taking Ron to his new home. It was truly the most horrific hour that we've been through - Ron knew with absolute certainty what was happening.... I knew he knew he was being taken from home and moved there and would not be living back at home again- and he absolutely didn't want to go, not even get out of Glyn's car. He was deeply distressed and angry and very sad and uncooperative - my heart broke for him. It was awful. The staff are very kind, in particularly the lady in charge was so gentle and caring with him. Cammy, Keighley and I stayed nearly an hour initially ( I had prepared Ron's room the day before) but then had the excuse that I was taking Cammy for a haircut, so we had to go. Glyn kindly stayed on and got Ron a little calmer, and he had some tea, fortified with an Ativan, which went a long way to settling him. I returned a bit later and sat companionably with him while he ate his supper and I stayed into the evening with him. I was really worried that, given his behaviour, the staff would not cope and he'd end up being committed to Psychiatric care in the hospital and would lose his bed at Cerwydden, which had been my top choice of place for him. He managed ok, and the following day was full of visits from myself, Cammy, and Ron's mum and sister-fortuitously they were in town for Keighley's shower. I didn't want Ron to be taken out and about till he was more settled, for fear that we wouldn't be able to get him back through the doors again.

Yesterday, after he'd spent two nights there, the weather was absolutely glorious and I felt he should get out into the fresh air and have a walk. There is a lovely section of the Trans Canada Trail which is easily accessed on foot from Cerwydden, so that's where I took him. It's a disused railbed, which is graveled and level, and wide enough to walk side by side, so it's just perfect to take Ron out there, as it's quiet, and there's no traffic and it's not muddy, and goes through lovely forest next to a river. He was in a good space and I didn't have trouble getting him to go back indoors. Clearly Ron will need a lot of re-assurance that he's not abandoned, so I am going to be a very strong presence there for him. Others who have been significant in his life will carry on being involved too. It is challenging as he needs to get out and exercise, being physically so fit and energetic, compared to all the other residents, most of whom are in their 90's. I can already see that he will keep the staff on their toes, compared to the other residents who seem content parked off in their wheelchairs for hours on end.

I am still reeling and numbed with it all. It's been a pretty hectic time since Thursday, with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law arriving Friday, then hosting the baby shower here on Saturday. I have to confess that it was an absolute joy on Thursday to have a bath at 7 pm - (bubbles and wine!) usually I'd have had to wait till not only Ron was put to bed, but staying in his bed for the night before I could have a late bath - hurried because all I wanted to do was sleep. Over the coming months, I will busy myself with clearing out the house systematically. I have no intention of making any decisions about the house or moving - I certainly would not want to loose both my husband and my home in quick succession.

I couldn't seem to attach a working link to the website for Cerwydden, but just Google Cerwydden Care Centre Duncan if you're interested in learning a little more.